Insurance Jokes Part 3

Life insurance agent to would-be client: "Don't let me frighten you into a hasty decision. Sleep on it tonight. If you wake in the morning, give me a call then and let me know."

Three Insurance salesman were sitting in a restaurant boasting about each companies service.The first one said, "When one of our insureds died suddenly on Monday, we got the news that evening and were able to process the claim for the wife and had mailed a check on Wednesday evening. "The second one said, "When one of our insured died without warning on Monday, we learned of it in 2 hours and were able to hand-deliver a check the same evening." The last salesman said, "That's nothing. Our office is on the 20th floor of a tall building. One of our insureds who was washing a window on the 85th floor, slipped and fell. We handed him his check as he passed our floor."

Several cannibals were recently hired by a health insurance agency. "You are all part of our team now," said the HR rep during the welcoming briefing. "You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any of the other employees." The cannibals promised. Four weeks later their boss remarked, "You're all working very hard, and I'm satisfied with you. However, one of our CSR's has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?" The cannibals all shook their heads no. After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, "Which one of you idiots ate the CSR?" A hand rose hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals continued, "You fool! For four weeks we've been eating Producers and no one noticed anything, but noooooo, you had to go and eat the Customer Service Representative!"

"You ought to feel highly honored," said the businessman to the life insurance agent, "so far today I have had my secretary turn away seven insurance agents.""Yes, I know," replied the agent, "I'm them."

An insurance agent was teaching his wife to drive when the brakes suddenly failed on a steep, downhill grade."I can't stop!" she shrilled. "What should I do?""Brace yourself," advised her husband, "and try to hit something cheap."

Sad but true: One day when I was a new agent, I received a phone call from a lady saying that unfortunately she had to cancel her husband´s life insurance policy. "We always paid it in time", she said, "but since my dear husband´s sudden death last year I have had some financial hardship; therefore, I cannot pay it anymore."

A traveling insurance salesman was held up by a bad storm in the Hawaiian Islands. He sent an e-mail to his corporate headquarters advising them that he was stranded for a few days and requested instructions.The reply came back shortly: "Begin vacation as of yesterday."

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Jonathan S. Carroll, ASLI, CRIS
Bradley & Parker
320 S. Service Rd, Melville, NY 11747
O - (631) 981-7600
D - (631) 650-4034
C - (917) 376-0075
F - (631) 981-7681